What is my life like currently? Well, where on Earth do I start? If this time 3 years ago you had asked me if I would see myself in the future where I am now I would have thought you were having a laugh.
My life has changed so much... And I literally mean ''so much''. But in such a positive way. I know this post is meant to be about my life right now but I just want to sum it up for you so you can see why I'm so happy and surprised how my life is right now.
3 and a half years ago, I met my current partner, fiancee and father of my baby boy. We didn't even go to the same high school so I know what you're thinking, 'kinda high school sweethearts from another school but whatever', but that's a story for another time if you girlies want me to write about it. Eventually I went on to do my GCSEs... Okay, fair enough, I did a lot better than I expected in subjects I never knew I could possibly pull myself together in, but I did and that's good.
But that didn't mean anything because I applied for sixth form, for courses I really wanted to do and had a real passion for. Art, Photography, Forensic Science and Music... However, I got rejected in all courses and they offered me a place in the following courses if I wanted to: Spanish, Art, and Business... Not the combination I was looking for so chucked that one out of the window. Do I regret it? Yes, 100%, I wish I had taken that opportunity and maybe it would have opened up more doors for me since it was stuff I was actually super good in, but ah well. Life goes on and I'm young, still have plenty of time on my hands to complete those courses if and when I want to as long as I work hard enough. I ended up applying for a local college to do Beauty Therapy, but guess what, my friends? The spaces were all filled up and they said I would have to wait for the following year. But Jess was like, 'Hell no', got inpatient and applied for another course at the same college and finally had some luck and managed to get in. Hallelujah! Jess finally had some luck. What course though? Business Administration. Yeah, I know, what even. 'Jess, why on Earth did you go for that? It is so off from what you've said you wanted to do and applied for''. Well, my friends, I am one very impatient girly, I thought, 'Well, I've had a bit of a taste of what working in administration is like so lets wing this''... Never did I think I would have to learn all the security and customer safety legislations on the face of the Earth though. Felt like I was studying to be a lawyer or something. But at least I actually enjoyed it. I had the most amazing class, we were literally all girls and then there were literally just 3 guys, and I'm almost certain non of them wanted to be there. Everyone was lovely though, so many laughs and giggles and I love seeing how their lives have improved and what they have achieved since we left. I passed my course though, hell to the yeah.
What did I do since I left college? I did work experience at the beauty and hair salon as a receptionist at the exact same college and they wanted to keep me on as an apprentice. God knows how much I enjoyed working there, it was super busy and I was always rushing but I like that. You get to come home, have a nice warm bath or shower and then just relax for the rest of your afternoon and evening. You pretty much don't have time to overthink, and that's beyond lush because you guessed it, I'm an overthinker, my moods were so much better when I was working there. However, my bad luck obviously had to come out at some point, I didn't get the apprenticeship because of a mess up that happened with my documents to start up and I couldn't sort them out in the time they needed them sorted by. Not my fault, but once again that's a story for a different post if you want it. Since then, I worked at a market store in town that belonged to my mom and then I fell pregnant, so I quit whn I turned 3 months pregnant because it was too cold and working outside while pregnant and getting constantly ill obviously isn't good so I took the safer side for my baby boy and I quit. Shortly after, my mom closed the business anyway.
I have also come so far with my anxiety disorder. I was having various anxiety and panic attacks a day and once I found out I was pregnant, I haven't even had one since. And I'm so proud of myself for that. Anxiety is something super difficult and stressful to live with.
Moving on slightly, yeah, I got pregnant. Conceived on 15th December 2015. It was actually a shock for me, for the both of us actually. And I remember it like it was yesterday, I was sat in the bathroom doing a test in early January and my heart was beating so fast while I was waiting for an answer and then I got an answer and started hyperventilating, as you do. We didn't have our own home, I wasn't getting much from work and my fiancee was working in a garage as a vehicle engineer doing an apprenticeship, earning £450 a month, which is really rubbish by the way, but better than nothing I guess.
But we managed to turn everything around. Completely. In July, my fiance moved in with me over at my parents' house when he started working at his new job, it only took us a month to get the deposit for our own home so after a month, we both moved out of my parents house and into our own home. FINALLY! We moved in on 12th August 2016. Pretty much a month before our baby was due, our baby was due on 11th September but was lazy and cozy in there so arrived 3 days late, meaning he was actually born on 14th September 2016.
So where is my life at right now? My baby is going to be 2 months already this month. I'm still not working or doing any courses because he's too young and obviously needs me. Plus I can't bring myself to leave him yet, not even for an hour. My health has been up and down since I got pregnant, mainly after my 12 week scan. My health just started going down hill, organ infections, I was constantly in pain. It was horrible because all the pains sort of set me back on actually enjoying the pregnancy fully. My pregnancy was sort of high risk as well because of my weight so it meant I had to be extra careful with my diet and vitamins throughout my pregnancy. But with our baby now here, they have been finally able to figure out what's wrong with me and my gallbladder is full of stones and one or two are travelling to other organs so I'm due for surgery in 2017. I'll keep you guys updated on that one.
Right now, life is right where I want it. I have my little family, we have our own little cave to call our home. All I need is my surgery now so I can fully be happy without so much fear and stress over my pains and trips in an ambulance to the emergency unit at the hospital various times a month due to how bad my pains get. Once the surgery is over, once I recover and my pains are gone, I will finally be able to be my fully happy and jolly self again. And I can't wait for that.
I seriously have a feeling that 2017 will be my year. Pray for me, girlies.
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